The Pee Bottle Song

Ric Seaberg
(Ric Seaberg)


I keep a bottle by the bed

It's too much trouble to get up

They said I'd fade but never said

I'd keep a bottle by my bed


Theres ibuprofen by the bed

In case the pain’s too much to bear

There's other stuff to take instead

My life revolves around NSAIDs 



I wear a toupe and a brace on my back

There's just a little muscle tone that I lack

But when I tried to fix that hole in the deck

It caused a lump the size a France on my neck



2nd bridge 


And when I tried to move the barbecue once

I threw my back into a funk for a month

I’m nominated for King of The Gout

I got a half a dozen crowns in my mouth


My father told me I'd get old

So I said daddy you’re a fool

In my old age I'm trying t'thrive

We don't get outa here alive


I keep a bottle by the bed

It's tmi but I don't care 

There's cheddar cheese and whole wheat bread

Beside my bottle by the bed 


No matter what you think of me

I wont be gettin’ up to pee!

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